[Ken strikes Nic as a mature kid. Though he'd have had half a mind to be blunt even if he wasn't, to scare him. But now isn't the time to be scaring kids off. They need to be protected.]
Some of them. But I've killed plenty of innocent people too. Even when I was your age. [He pauses. Then adds;]
But that's not why really. A guy like me is lucky to make it to my 30s. I've been ready to die for years now.
[ ken looks at the words for a period of time before he responds. if anything he starts to write something down then scratch it out before eventually showing him: ]
So have I. The ready to die, part.
[ which might be weird coming from a kid who is 11 years old but he's seen some stuff and been through some things. ]
...but even so, we're alive and we shouldn't take that for granted. Even if you've committed crimes, dying is a way to escape from what you've done.
You can't change anything once you're dead.
[ not that he's telling nic to redeem himself or to repent for his crimes but that him dying wouldn't solve anything. ]
[Probably Nic should object to an 11 year old being ready to die. But he's actually uniquely able to understand the feeling. He had been prepared to die at that age too. He doesn't know what Ken's circumstances are, but he understands the sentiment. And it just makes him want to keep him safe all the more.
But he laughs, softly, and nods. Because it reminds him of the first direct order he'd been given. Live on with the weight of his crimes. Suffer. He's not allowed to die yet. He pats Ken on the shoulder.]
That's right. You're a smart kid. Thanks for reminding me.
[He lingers a moment before changing the subject;]
[ he makes a face when nic refers to him as kid but he's glad that he's made some progress with it. hopefully?? little does he know about the suffering part because that's not what he's encouraging. nevertheless, when nic asks about his hobbies he just...
...
um.
;; ]
I've picked up trying to learn billiards since arriving here.
[ which is to say that he doesn't have any real hobbies because his latest hobby was. complicated. ]
[You ARE a kid!!! It's fine!!! Try to be a kid as long as you can. Anyway that's a suspicious pause before that weird answer. He didn't have hobbies before, huh!!! Well, once again, Nic's weird adolescences means he can't judge.]
[Yeah, that makes sense to him. Especially with how those two just have that sorta smug energy that makes you want to beat them. Or maybe that's just him?]
[Well, jeez. Sure, ok, he's not exactly 100% on board with all the dead young people. Maybe Ken's right. But it sure is a lot easier for him to get over it. But there's no reasons to tell Ken that.]
I guess that's true for some things.
People keep deciding to write at me here like you did.
[ no one is gonna be 100% okay with dead people it's just gonna be how it be. but with the new information of people making the effort to accommodate nic comes across, he's going to brighten up. ]
Really? That's good! I'm sure it makes things easier in a place like this.
[ he's honestly thrilled that people aren't just speaking at him. when will the hand signing club be realized. ]
[Ken seems genuinely glad..??? Weird!!! He wants to protest that he's used to reading lips, but given how hectic things have been around here, it has made things easier.]
It does. Normally I'd have my partner around to interpret, so it's helped fill in.
[After a moments pause where Nic decides not to get into the whole "contract holder" business, he nods. Not because Ken's a kid but just because it's a sore subject for him at the moment.]
I've known him since we were kids. We learned how to sign together, so back home he was my hearing aid.
[ boy will it be fun to have context for everything with the latest thread. oh boy!!! ]
Oh!
Guess that means you two spent a lot of time together, too, right? I hear that when people are that close, you start to just understand one another without words.
That's interesting though. Nic thinks for a moment. Yeah. They do that all the time. Sometimes he can just shoot Worick a look without signing and be understood. For better or worse.]
Yeah, once you know someone well enough, you can just predict their behavior. It's like that.
[ ken has no frame of context in this conversation so he'll think it's cool. ]
I don't have anyone like that, but I've always wanted to know what something like that is like.
[ maybe the reason why ken doesn't know is because everyone around him keeps dying... closes eyes. actually the only "person" who comes close is likely a dog..... ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Most of them.
Murder. Assault. Blackmail. Extortion. Robbery. I haven't seen my file in a while but Inspector Adkins says it's one of his largest.
[He seems weirdly calm to be admitting all this??]
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...and because of that, you think that deserve to be killed?
[ and even though ken knows that there are no true "good" or "bad" people in the world he wants to hear what nic has to say. or, well, "say". ]
Do you think they were bad people or people who deserved it, too?
no subject
Some of them. But I've killed plenty of innocent people too. Even when I was your age.
[He pauses. Then adds;]
But that's not why really. A guy like me is lucky to make it to my 30s. I've been ready to die for years now.
no subject
So have I. The ready to die, part.
[ which might be weird coming from a kid who is 11 years old but he's seen some stuff and been through some things. ]
...but even so, we're alive and we shouldn't take that for granted. Even if you've committed crimes, dying is a way to escape from what you've done.
You can't change anything once you're dead.
[ not that he's telling nic to redeem himself or to repent for his crimes but that him dying wouldn't solve anything. ]
no subject
But he laughs, softly, and nods. Because it reminds him of the first direct order he'd been given. Live on with the weight of his crimes. Suffer. He's not allowed to die yet. He pats Ken on the shoulder.]
That's right. You're a smart kid. Thanks for reminding me.
[He lingers a moment before changing the subject;]
You got any hobbies?
no subject
...
um.
;; ]
I've picked up trying to learn billiards since arriving here.
[ which is to say that he doesn't have any real hobbies because his latest hobby was. complicated. ]
no subject
Yeah? You getting any good? I dunno how to play.
no subject
but ah. these two. ]
I think I'm getting better at it. I still can't beat Kurusu-san or Akechi-san, but it's just more motivation.
[ a moment before he adds onto it. ]
Would you be interested in trying sometime?
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Sure. You can tell me what you've learned.
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Okay! It won't be much, but we all have to start somewhere.
[ ken hesitates writing more but eventually goes for it. ]
...would you want to go now? It might help to get your mind off of things.
[ nic came here to be worried about ken and now the tables have turned on him. ]
no subject
I'm used to stuff like this. But we can go if you'd like.
[Just so we're clear!! This is for Ken's sake!]
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"Just because you're used to it, doesn't make it easier."
Someone told me that once.
[ quotes are so much nicer in text... ]
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I guess that's true for some things.
People keep deciding to write at me here like you did.
no subject
Really? That's good! I'm sure it makes things easier in a place like this.
[ he's honestly thrilled that people aren't just speaking at him. when will the hand signing club be realized. ]
no subject
It does. Normally I'd have my partner around to interpret, so it's helped fill in.
no subject
Your partner? Like someone you work with?
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I've known him since we were kids. We learned how to sign together, so back home he was my hearing aid.
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Oh!
Guess that means you two spent a lot of time together, too, right? I hear that when people are that close, you start to just understand one another without words.
no subject
That's interesting though. Nic thinks for a moment. Yeah. They do that all the time. Sometimes he can just shoot Worick a look without signing and be understood. For better or worse.]
Yeah, once you know someone well enough, you can just predict their behavior. It's like that.
no subject
I don't have anyone like that, but I've always wanted to know what something like that is like.
[ maybe the reason why ken doesn't know is because everyone around him keeps dying... closes eyes. actually the only "person" who comes close is likely a dog..... ]